Will Smith: The New MLK?

(The following article was rejected from CH for being too racist)

Martin Luther King Jr. may have had a dream, but Will Smith has turned that dream into reality. A triple threat actor, singer, and father of three Smith has taken it solely upon his broad, thunderous shoulders to carry the world for the past decade, a feat King could never accomplish during his brief reign as the lesser civil rights leader and black male role model.

Bar none, Smith has done so much more for the black community than MLK could ever imagine and here’s why: Bad Boys was a really good movie. Independence Day? MIB, I, Robot, all fantastic flicks. Wasn’t he in Training Day too? I’m just joking, I know that was Denzel. Just trying to lighten up the mood that’s all. Relax. Get jiggy wit it. I Am Legend was a little lame, but Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was so goddamn good it doesn’t even matter. I bet he even hooked up with Ashley Banks too and she was smoking hot. He’s just done so much.

He also got into MIT. Did you guys know that? MIT! Martin Luther King probably didn’t even go to school, much less get into one of the best schools in the world. Did I mention he was nominated TWICE for Academy Awards. MLK can’t nearly boast such incredible achievements in his lifetime.

I know it’s silly to worry about who’s better than who, but I think it’s really vital that in this new Willennium we focus more on the present and less on the past. That’s why I propose that Martin Luther King Jr. Day be changed to Will “Fresh” Smith Day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for civil rights and the movement, I just think we need to start recognizing some of the more important members in the community and it’s only through understanding Smith’s life will we truly reach equality and the Pursuit of Happyness.

It’s by no means a competition. To each his own. But you know who could play MLK in a movie and probably get that Academy Award once and for all? The Prince. He could really portray a civil rights leader beautifully, probably better than King himself could’ve. All I’m saying is it’s not even a competition between the two, WCS Junior (William Christopher Smith) just blows MLK out of the water, and in style, Big Willy Style that is!

So please write to your local congressman concerning the change (or sharing of) MLK day with WCS Appreciation, that’s all we ask. Thank you for your time.

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getting old

I haven’t been on AIM for almost a month. Isn’t that a really long time?

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socks

I think if I had enough money where I never had to worry about money again, I’d wear a new pair of socks every day of my life.

I also realize that this is my second post concerning socks.

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old pictures

Do you ever look at old pictures, like from a year or two ago and wonder where the shirt you were wearing went? I just through a bunch of pictures of facebook and there were like four t-shirts and a hoodie I haven’t seen in at least a year.

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tight

I think I’m going to start saying “that’s tight” a lot,  just to see if anyone notices.

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i wish…

WWI and WWII stood for Wayne’s World 1 and Wayne’s World 2 instead of the World Wars.  Maybe one day.

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did you know?

… on your tax forms, you’re supposed to declare stolen property?

“Stolen property - If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.”

- IRS tax code, 525

You’d have to be the stupidest criminal in the history of crime to declare stolen property. Honestly, who would do that? And if anyone does, and I can’t believe anyone would, does the IRS alert the police and have them arrested?

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Ace… So

Jake and Amir (of JakeandAmir.com fame) just released this new shirt on BustedTees.com (of BustedTee fame). I think it’s really cool to say you have your own t-shirt with your face on it. It’s crazy that they’ve reached this level of awareness. Only now do they realize that this symbolizes something greater than each of them alone, much like Che Guevara knew his shirt would stand for more than whatever it was that he was doing. To be honest I don’t really know what he did. Few do

Buy one now!

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birth

I wonder if giving birth is like taking a really big dump.

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too late?

Is it too late to become a sports fan? I used to go to a lot of professional basketball and baseball games but not so much anymore. I haven’t followed any team in awhile, but I think I’d like to start again. Say I wanted to start being a Red Sox fan. Is it too late? Did I miss that boat? I’d probably have to pick a bad team so it didn’t look like I was a frontrunner right?

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how?

I have one white sock and one black sock left in my sock drawer. How is that even possible?

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curtis

I was looking up 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) on Wikipedia yesterday and found a funny disambiguation of his name…

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the monster

I was walking down the street the other day and as someone exited their cab I heard the most chilling noise in the world. I can’t really put it into words, but it was the printing of the cab receipt and then I realized why it freaked me out so much. It’s the exact same noise made on the island of “Lost” when the black smoke monster appears and despite being a fictional T.V. show I was legitimately scared for my life.

Locke was M.I.A, as usual.

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500+ club

A month or two ago I posted this update called Frat Wall on CollegeHumor and it did pretty well. Right now it has 476 likes, but my ultimate goal is 500. There’s just something about reaching that number that gets me really, really excited. It’s like being a member of some exclusive group or something. I’d say the feeling is probably synonymous to joining the mile high club. . . except this gives me a much bigger boner.

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the kid who was born on 9/11

I wrote this article for CollegeHumor and was a little nervous about the backlash.

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my new theory

So I have this new theory. All long lasting, solid guy/girl friendships are formed after a somewhat failed hook-up. Otherwise there’d always be some weird sexual tension. I think that’s a pretty good theory.

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blog

Starting a blog has really made me realize how uneventful my life is.

Just kidding!

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Josh

Josh from Nick’s beloved “Drake and Josh” lost WAY too much weight. I personally think it takes away from the show and that certain Don Quixote/Sancho Panzo, Farley/Spade thing they had going. It also looks weird ’cause his head’s still fat.

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Hidden Talents

I’m really, really good at feeling my way through the dark to plug something in.

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7th Heaven

I was just flipping through the channels and heard Ruthie say, “T-Bone is breaking up with me?”

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